Sunday, January 6, 2013

The WORD for 2013



 Do you have a word for 2013?

I told you in the last post that I am not doing traditional resolutions this year.  Yes, I have a quiet little list in my head--things that I know will be so good for me to do, dreams and goals that I have of course, and things that I know must...MUST...change this year to make it the best year ever! I call it a 'quiet' list because I am not allowing it to nag me--I am taking it one day at a time without pressure.

Then there is the word for 2013...one word for 2013. Being a girl of many words, (all-the-time... ask French Guy---I talk A-LOT...when I am not writing or thinking of words to write--in 3 journals, or on 3 blogs or on that novel that is going to make me rich and famous in 2013...  ah--but you get the idea.) So you might think coming up with just one to be the true, all encompassing word might be tough, but ironically, no.  It came easily--thanks to a great writer, author ..... 

.... Goddess of words---Anne Lamott.

My word for 2013 is COURAGE. Here is why.... first there are some great opposites--the ways I don't want to be; fearful, cowardess, timidity, weak, defeated.... and synonomous words of inspiration related to it; bravery, strength, steadfast, determined.....

Next--courage is the same word in French and English--hence no need to have two words in 2013.  I can't tell you what it has meant to me in the past when my father in law has firmly taken me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes and said 'Bon courage ma belle'..... for situations that may have in the moment seem insurmountable.  His words gave me courage--showed me he understood.... I took it..that small piece of courage and put it to good use.

And as long as we are on the topic of 'French'.... courage will be seriously applied to one of my most major (and unexpected) struggles since re-locating to France---French---speaking French!  No, it has not come easily--I do not dream in French ....yet.... and I quickly tire of appearing like a complete idiot and trying to speak French... I have become very shy, very timid, very embarrassed.... almost. every.  day.  It is hard to be that way.  So no longer mes amis---courage will be applied....thickly.  I will not care if I sound like a Spanish cow when I open my mouth---I will not be humbled by correction over and over by my family---or strangers--I will try, try and try again.  I will not go sit in my car and get all teary after being completely humiliated by an unkind person who insults me for being American...living here....not speaking French.  I will be brave, determined..... I will have courage... to be an idiot or sound like one... until I am not.  (But I seriously hope that is soon!)

Next---courage application-- courage to be true and authentic.... and not always perfect. This one I will expand more on in the coming weeks.  There are two writers/bloggers wonderful thoughtful human beings that I stumbled upon recently that have knocked my socks off with authenticity.... calling it like it is---no sugar coating....while still being incredibly inspiring and up-lifting and I want to share more about them and the things I have learned from them in short time since finding their blogs...

Lastly--and the HUGE one.  Courage is best applied to your weakest and most vulnerable place in your heart.... for me it is my children.  This is where--in 2013 I will need the most COURAGE....ever....it is the toughest thing in my life.  

Here goes....with a big dose of the aforementioned "authentic and true me"....  My littlest, who turns two years old this week, is soon to be diagnosed officially with Autism.  It is the hardest thing for me to write about.  She is my third child and my second who has Autism.  It takes courage to even talk about it---I do not expect most of you to get any of this--what it is like as a parent, why it scares the heck out of me and breaks my heart, why it brings me to my knees....how on some days we are good and feel 'normal' and blessed and on others I am so full of grief that I cannot see straight.

 It's a hard road--- and the one that I need the most courage to go down again....courageously.

So here is what Anne Lamott wrote---the quote that gave me my word for 2013.

"Courage is fear that has said it's prayers".   
 Exactly..... and amen!

And a verse of inspiration that I will cling to...

Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid .... for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you...."

Happy New Year mes amis
 I am taking a 5 day break from the web/Facebook/Twitter and ....gasp! Instagram!---  well maybe not Instagram----okay yes Instagram too!  Sheesh...

to re-stock the shop and work on a few projects that I can't wait to share ...  and to fully embrace all that this amazing year has in store for us!

xx! More soon.... !